Why I Stopped Hyphenating "Self Love"


The use of hyphens in “self love” has been resonating on a strange level of irony for me, lately. Love is just as much an individual phenomenon as it is a universal one. Yet I feel we don’t create enough space for it inside. We don’t allow it to radiate independent of social acceptability and our desire to be loved by others, enough. We tend to be great at meeting others’ needs, thus neglecting ourselves and making it that much harder to return to the empowered place where we feel worthy (without validation).

Removing the hyphen, for me, represents the space required to actively honor new and old commitments to ourselves not attached to anyone or anything. space to be better to our hearts. Space to love our bodies. Space to learn to say “no” when too many “yes”s deprive us of ourselves. Space to not allow ourselves to be mistreated. Space to find our voices and to never lose them once we’ve found them. Space to tell our stories. Space to start over. Space to make our own choices. Space to sit with our real selves beyond our surface selves. Space to express. Space to redefine inner feelings of peace. Space to heal. Space to grow.

— An excerpt from my book ‘root’, available on Amazon here.

Be with Someone Who Appreciates Your Offerings

An excerpt from my book root, available now on Amazon.


Our haunted pasts have a way of gradually deteriorating our self-esteem, thus making us believe that we are unworthy of respectful treatment and discouraging us from investing in new relationships. Despite what you may think or what relationship fractures have lead you to believe, you have everything to offer —everything to offer someone new.

I urge you to reformat your internal dialogue —self-awareness is everything. Recall your heart at its best. Before it became an abandoned cemetery for the worst of them and bring yourself to love. Organically and without inhibitions. Know that not everyone will fail to see you through: attentively peeling back every layer, meeting every line of your story with acceptance.

Not everyone will resemble the monsters who hurt you.

Not everyone will take you for granted.

PS. You don’t need permission to take your time.