Here's Why Heartbreak Is Currency

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The rawest human proof, heartbreak reveals a common thread through the emotional maladies: being at the mercy of a broken heart.

As someone whose healing journey is indefinite, in the midst of all this mending is the most valuable and powerful lesson of all—you don't need to become embittered before things get better. Nor do you need to purposely hurt others in a vain attempt to prove a point. By living and operating from a place purely driven by deeply unresolved animosity and emotional venom, not only do you generate bad karma for yourself, but you further compound everything you can't unfeel and I can't think of a more tragic irony. 

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
— Hannah More

An affirmation that has impacted me so much it lives permanently on my left forearm. To remind me. To allow for honest reflection. To channel into a masterpiece. (That last one? The open waters of acknowledging my value still makes me feel incredibly shrunken and exposed at times. Hey, I'm only human.) To keep me where I need to be. To carve identity and get to know myself far away from the spaces I once thought I needed to fit. To continue appreciating the things that don't hurt. To remember to forgive myself, too. (If you're reading this, it's okay to stop mentally brutalizing yourself for the things that can't be undone, redone, or even answered. Want to reverse regret? Don't let the lessons be for nothing and pay more homage to your literal and figurative teachers.)

An open heart is the sole ingredient in the recipe for owning your heartbreak. I know that may sound a bit strange, even possibly conflicting, but I can personally attest to the validity in the remarkable healing power of giving and receiving more love than you resist. While there's a lot that still weighs me down internally—having loved and gotten my heart shattered more times than I can count if I were actually tallying—in addition to being a grieving daughter, granddaughter, cat mom, niece, cousin, and friend (occasionally keeping me up at night), healing is happening to me in the most unusual, unexpected, and small forms. 

Yes, healing happens.

Be with Someone Who Appreciates Your Offerings

An excerpt from my book root, available now on Amazon.

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Our haunted pasts have a way of gradually deteriorating our self-esteem, thus making us believe that we are unworthy of respectful treatment and discouraging us from investing in new relationships. Despite what you may think or what relationship fractures have lead you to believe, you have everything to offer —everything to offer someone new.

I urge you to reformat your internal dialogue —self-awareness is everything. Recall your heart at its best. Before it became an abandoned cemetery for the worst of them and bring yourself to love. Organically and without inhibitions. Know that not everyone will fail to see you through: attentively peeling back every layer, meeting every line of your story with acceptance.

Not everyone will resemble the monsters who hurt you.

Not everyone will take you for granted.

PS. You don’t need permission to take your time.