I was recently shamed for identifying as a polyamorist and told, "The way I love isn't love." This was hurtful to hear because my love-style comes from an open, honest, and selfless place.
For me, polyamory is about the freedom to create, explore, expand, and preserve my connections with the women I love (while also creating an empowered and supportive space for them to experience the same). Connections that are strong enough to survive together and apart and aren't contingent upon romantic and sexual exclusivity. Dynamic connections, real connections. Free from the cages most monogamous relationships confine us to when fear, insecurities, and jealousy are allowed to dictate the way we connect with others. I don't ever want to love anyone into minimizing what someone else may or may not mean to them and I never want to experience being loved that way again. I don't ever want to love anyone away from the true wild of their heart. So often we hear "I want to see you happy, even if it's not with me", but when put to the test it rarely converts from being an impulse gesture (something simply uttered in the moment) to being sincere. How many of you actually mean it? I do, and contrary to the misconceptions, being a polyamorist represents those sincere acts of selflessness for me: Selfless love. It isn't for anyone else to understand or accept. I'm just grateful for each day I get to wake up, love, and let love.